lördag 18 december 2010

Song of lovely trees of fall

Life aint what its expected to be.
The white horse never comes, only descises in every corner of the dissepointments.
See you fly would have made my day, see you love me would have done it all, but only what i see is you, you who are afraid to let go.
World is no beautiful place to be in, but you are a beautiful place to love.
First time i saw you, i did not know you, time made me love you, i never choosed.
Dissepointments all over us, we think, live the same way, why couldent we love the same way?
Love comes once in a while, knocks on your door, throus you a smile, but if you never heare the door knock, how can you fall in love then?
August leafes fall on a sunny day, on your cheek, on your shoulders, blinded by sun, blinded by hate, blinded by love. You still choose.
I made my choise, you.
This is a song for broken hearts, this is my very true own story, for fue its a song, for me a reality that i try to live in, i still love you.
Love speaks to your soul, to your heart, what you dont know, its the truth, what you know of usually is the fals way of beliving. Or sometimes you hit the lottery....
Leafes of fallen trees, fall upon the ground, messing up, making children play among yellow-red nature paper.
God chooses life to us, God belives in us. I belive in you.
Watching, carying, protecting, my song to you love, is a poem where i belive in us.

tisdag 14 december 2010

Daybreake and a living cold

Daybreake came, i saw the light.
Light that blinded me, blinded by love.
Snowstorm blew in thrue that door to the right of the left in the middle of the wall, beside that window that are to the next of my door, that was closed, but not the door.
I saw the light come freezing in, couse of the snowstorm. Dam snow that made my day a living hell, a hell that got my car outside say brrr.

Snowstorm has its own, very own way to say, I love you, it hits right thrue your vaines.
My way is to warm you..
Tuesday, and sun is not yet up, i wonder when James brings in her and the sun, JAMES!!!!!!!
New York, New York here i come, almost, money problem...
Daybreake came, in came snowstorm, in came the day, but not she....

I opend the window, that stood shut, and i waited.... For her......

söndag 12 december 2010

Not yet, not yet

I held your hand, i saw you fall asleep for one last time...
I wiped your tears one more time, i held you in my arms, now you are far from me, where i no longer can see you smile...

We cryed, we played, i held you when you fell and cryed, i wiped your tears for then to see you smile, but now i hold you for one last time.
You lie in my arms , tears of mine falls down upon your beautiful innocent face.
You dont no longer look at me, you closed your eyes, for good.
Not yet, please, not yet my sweet child, not yet...
Stay for a moment with me, stay a life time.
No more laugh, no more smiles, no more of what was one time we.
:`(
I love you my sweet child, my darling, angels upon us will keep you safe...


High healed sneakers and love poems

I look at you, everyday. You belong with me.
I see trees flowering, leafes growing from naked body, you belong to me.
Shoes, clothes, make up, you all weare that, i still see whats beneath that, you belong to me.
Prawns, dates, dances, everything i been with you, still i never smelled your hair in real life, iknow you smell like a flower on a rainy day after suns heatening light streams against its body.

Your eyes melt me, your voice, it made me go out on a tuesday night and tell a secret to my own identity, it said you belong to me.
Ive been here all the time, cant you see me? You belong with me.
We walk together, was it a dream, let me dream, was it not a dream, never let me fall asleep.
High heals, sneakers dont matter, you look georgous in any time, weather, wind, I love you.

You smiled that sunny night, you smiled that dark day, stil im not sure if it was night or day, couse you sweaped me away with your smile, i knew then.... you belong with me....

Winter fruit

Sweet plums picken, sweet love taken.
darlings of god truth, darlings of waterproof silence.
Dawns of dust, lighten by thunder.
Drums we need, guitars we speak.

I speak with clean tung, you speak with black one.
I live my life thrue the drums of truth, play the guitar of broken souls.
Music rings in my ears, the solo i played rings in my head.
Snowstorm, warm weather, sun is not yet up.

Love comes love goes, when do i know it stays?
Guessing, lurking, working with my grey little ones.
Right, wrong, gues what, i dont know anything.
Life death eternity, they all seems to be an eternity of hoping.

Its winter now, and im still not warm...

lördag 11 december 2010

Hello world

There where the world stops, we meet, there where angels in the yard have their cup of the meet, there we shall unite one day.
Hello my love, where have you been, where have you rested?
Im cold as steel, warm as a heating boil.
Grapes, bananas, apples, picked from garden of innocent, pick one for me.
Little girl, little boy, hello world, do me a favour, tell that queen to come to me, she dont heare me, not even with my Dior or Armani on me.
Hello world...

I dont know you, still i meet you everyday in my world, you walk like a queen, live like a queen beyond my world, beyond my imagination. My imagination is like chocolate in a little girls face, its a dream come true.
Hello world, good to see you my old friend.
My love is a mountain, but that you know, i am like a solid rock, that you also know...
Hello world, angel of harlem, what do you dont know bout me? Talk to god, he is there, be with me, couse i am also here.
I waited long now, i waited day and night, maybe i did something wrong, maybe i aint good enough, hello world, i know you are in my world thrue pain thrue greaatness and fire.

I belive, i do. In you, in God in my children, but, i love you more each day that goes by.

Hello world, send me a gift, send my queen, i love you so.

Im tired, let me love you, only you, no one else...

tisdag 7 december 2010

To my love of my life

Much you do for my heart, much you did before you knew me.
Many times i wondered, if its you and me, what i know now, would i known that then, i would had captured your heart long time ago.
"Couse love comes once in a while, knocks on your door, throws you a smile"
If i could turn back time, i would have met you earlier, and even then i would have acted as i do today, say ilove you give you the world...

Oh baby, i would give you the world, give you the stars, give you everything... Give you the ring on your finger.
Everyday you come sweeping in throu that door, everyday you smile.
I miss you so it hurts, i miss you everyday.
Teardrop on my cheek, teardrop for every minute i miss you, every time i think of you.
Love comes only once in a while, throws you a smile. You smiled, and i know i love you.
First time i saw you, i knew you were beautiful, i remember my first word to you, when we went friends: "You are beautiful" You thanked...
If i knew then what i know now, i would fall in love then.

My love of my life, you are so much for me, my best friend, my saviour, my love that bleeds in my heart, i do love you.
Its not easy to say "I love you" but for you it is, couse i do love you.
From my flat hand a star rises above to the heaven, before it rised, i gave a thought and planted it in that star, that was long time ago on a early fall on -90`s, if i knew then what i know now, i would have followed that star.
Star found me now, and brought me an angel, you.

Im in love, i lay my self on my couch, fall in sleep everynight, with you in my mind.
Everyday i smile to you, everyday i whisper your name.

Love only comes once in a while, it came, i found my home. Im never again taking a roadtripp to sunny beach, couse in sunny beach i found home, at your place, in your heart and soul.

I can only wish, wish you hold my hand. Hold me at nights, im holding you.

Once in a while, love comes thrue that door, only once, i dont fail with you.

I love you so, my love of my life.....

The first time that I saw you
Looking like you did
We were young, we were restless
Just two clueless kids
But if I knew then what I know now
Id fall in love

On a bus in Chicago
Three rows to the left
You know my heart was racing for you
But we never even met
But if I knew then what I know now
Id fall in love

Chorus
Cause love only comes once in awhile
Knocks on your door and throws you a smile
And takes every breath, leaves every scar
Speaks to your soul and sings to your heart
And if I knew then what I know now
Id fall in love

On a summer night in August
In the back seat of my car
Instead of trying to get to know you
I took it way too far
But if I knew then what I know now
Id fall in love

Repeat Chorus

Oh I used up a lot of chances
I cant get them back
But if again it comes calling
Im gonna make it last

Repeat Chorus

Oh if I knew then what I know now
Id fall in love

söndag 5 december 2010

Rollercoasters of love and joy

Rollercoaster called life, lurking over your shoulder. Watching, teaching, learning, from you.
If only you would see me, see me with my eyes. Never defeat me, never leave me.
If only you...

Look at me, tell me the sad story, look at me, involve me with the truth.
If only you...
Speak up, speak the truth, never hide the part where the prince in cinderella died.
Dont fool me, never, fool with me allways.
If only you...

I guess its ok to say im sorry, i guess its ok to say I love you.
I guess im hurt, i guess im ok. Hurt, not by you, ok thats by you.
Listen to me, before you go, look at me, not thrue the window from the train.
If only you would see me thrue my eyes.
If only you....


lördag 4 december 2010

Mr fade away

I was in the hospital today, from like 16:00 till 23:00.
Thought it was the heart, i got chest pains and my heart stopped pumping like 1 second and replaced that second with one small hit on it. when i came in to hospital, i sat down and faded suddenly away, bearley knew what my name was. Then i fell asleep and woke up, fell asleep and woke up.
Doctor said it was the stress that made all this shit, so ive been stressing alot, yes i have. Theese pains i have had many years, only that its begun to hurt moore theese days.
When i came home, i was bleeding nose blood, and i never bleed from the nose, i did it once when i was like 14 years old, then i bleeded alot, tonight my hand was all red, thats how i new i was bleeding like hell from my nose.
So this was my day, how was yours?

fredag 3 december 2010

When you got a good thing...

Fuck... Fuck... Fuck, i hate night time, i hate getting all mushy (sensitive).
Its like an emptyness that eats your soul and heart. Feeling that you need some one who meens the world for you, near you. It can easily be winkled as an egoistic needing, but as matter of fact, it is no fucking ego tripp to the sunny beach. Its a feeling that if that one would be with you now, you would give back to her as in my case, so much moore than you expect to have, you, in this case me, dont expect nothing at all, only that you, still me in this case, need to GIVE my love.
I am like a can full of feelings, full of love wich just needs to be emptyed, couse it needs to be filled again very fast.
Imagine that this "can" is filled up, and not emptyed, all the love that needs to go inside the can when the can is emptyed, is lying besides on the table, and the table gets filled by love, then we have a situation that is unbearable for your heart. My heart is this can, and when the table fills up, the feelings are attacking other parts of your soul, like disorientation, unfocusing, sadness, suddenly you think that you are non wanted.
But in that moment its very important to be very specific to your self and think with your heart, couse there all the answers lyes. Brain mix things up on its own, not heart, its always telling the truth.
So in my case this night, my "table" is filling up, and the can is still full.
When i meen "empty the can", then i meen that you need to speak out your love for whom,
Calm down, take it easy, yeah, but my train goes 525mph on the highway, and it will never stop.
Should i calm down? Well the fear is that if i calm down, slowing the train, maybe my target of love will find that a withdraw, and people who seas me calm down, thinks often that i given up.
I will never give up, im a stubborn bastard who does not deserve to live on this planet of apes.
Nooo i will never fail with her, no never. The day i fail, im done, i kill my self. I hate failing.
Feeling that you can wait a life time on someone, is happenning now, couse how matter i try seing things out of diffrent angle, i allways come to the same point, i can not measure others against her, there is no human who walks upon this earth that has the qualifications that she has.
She blinded me totally with love, blinded me but still i see, aah shit, its hard to explaine, simplest way of expalining it is: you see other women that looks good, but you still think, " shes not moore beautiful than my sweet temptation" and you keep doing what you did before. There isnt anyone who are moore perfect, beautiful, sexyer, better, nicer, sweeter than her.
there is a song that could have been written by me, its Lady Antebellums: when you got a good thing...
The words are: You know you keep bringing out the best of me, and i need you now even moore than the air im breathing...
Well the whole song is so perfect matched words from my heart against my sweet lullabye.
But im still wondering why night time must be so hard, why i everytime must be so fucking mushy? i think this blog is all about her, look at allmost every posting, its her in it all along...
Well this love train, i hope it never ends, couse its dam nice to be inlove, but still its a hard road to travell, but as long as shes there and speaks with me, and no other victims are near that i must draw my sword against for a fight, thats good, i dont think i have the power to fight a girl, she has her own mind, own heart, own will, if i fail and slippng down to reserve place, i dont fuck up her happyness, but im not either second price, put out my fire once, its never glowing like it did before.
Im the guy you have one shoot, one chance with, take it and you have me forever, blow it, you loose me forever, the magic, the words, everything, its not my job to give those words when you have some one else, i can advise you, give you pointing direction in life, but i will not show my heart. Hard dealer, yes. Im not a toy to have fun with and then ditsch, fuck that.
When i give my heart, you will see it forever if you choose to accept it.
Dont accept if you are not sure if i can be the life long one.
Are you sure that i am, but you aint ready yet, well i have only one message to you, and that is simply: I will wait as long as it takes for you to be ready, but be with me, and only with me the whole time and you have me ready when you are ready. I dont have hurry anywhere, couse iknow we will be ONE, one day. United.
This girl whom my tung speaks about, she gives me so much, she lightens me up. Oh dam sure she will be my wife one day, if she wants. I could give the whole world and much moore to her.
When do you know its love? Its when you sacrifise your own needs and your self for another one, take a bullet, put her in first place before you and others, think, eat, drink, sleep her.
Then its love on elite level.
Back to this heart aching thing again, why the hell do it have to be so heavy to breath when you miss someone so much, fuck.
The word "I love you" aint no moore strong enough to say, i must find stronger words, i must meassure up my love to right weigh, just to show exact how deep this heart-feeling-love thing is.
I know that im allways here for her, im never leaving her, never hurting her, fuck no, never. If i would see, hear or notice that someone did touch a hairstraw from her beautiful soul, i WILL rip that soul apart, give CPR and kill him again. I WILL tear him apart with my own bear hands. No one touches my girl, no one touches that one i love, no never. I might be small, i might not be strong, but when it sais "snap" in my head, i dont use 36% of my strength as human otherwise does, i use 100%, then you dont know what you do any moore when it hits 100%.
I can not change my self, and will not either, i come in a packages that has bad jokes, ups and downs and lots of swearing words that aint of gods grace, BUT you will get HELL LOT of love life long.
Here im sitting in the middle of the night, typing to a blog no one reads, its as lone as i am, but still im here and typing. Sad story this mike is, mmm yeah, but that girl, i love her moore than life it self, she gives me so many smiles, so many mmmmmmmmm so much that makes flowers grow on cold day in syberia without soil to feed it with.
Im worrying for nothing, but that is how i work, i allways worrie too much, its how my love works. I want to talk 24/7 with her, never hang up the phone, cheeezzz what a bill haha, skype, oh no my god that shit, iknow it should work, hey honey, we must get you a laptop so we can fix this skype problem.
Life is fucked up, its hurting every fucking minute, but when she turns up, oh shit life can be so wonderful.
I think this posting will be long, yeah im not finnished yet mother fucker, ive got still pretty much im gonna spit out here in your face mmmhm.
"Hold on tight, dont let go2, yeah never let go.
I dont think there is any one who can love you like me, or moore than me, think about it. Could you live with some one who are "ordinary standars man" nice and cozy, never hits you, brings flowers on your birthday and special days, and the other days goes to work, talks to you, and nothing moore?
That thing between all that guy is, i am, i can pop up with gifts wich day ever, or give you flowers just couse you are you and you are so beautiful. One morning you find a note next to you when you wake up: I love you honeywith all my heart, i wish you gods grace to day and dont forgett my love, i love you so much... See you tonight ;)
Yeah thats me, i cry, i bleed of love, but i can still kick your as, not yours honey.
Fuck fuck fuck, i can not sleep, i miss her so terrible much, it hurts oh yes. Hurts in good way.
Why does that girl have to be so beautiful, nice, sexy, hot, good looking, beautiful times million, cute, sweet....? Thank you god for all that....
I dont know anything moore than that i love her very deeply in my heart, i want her to have that freedom a girl should have, shell find it with me, that im proud over, that i can give her that, equality as the name goes under.
Be with me my love, and you will get that life you want.
Im proud of you, you are so clever.

With all my heart, soul, body and mind... I love you so deeply, selflessly, and with a burning heat from my heart.
im allways here for you my love, allways....

I love you.

//Michael


tisdag 30 november 2010

somewhere found

Somewhere found, somewhere picked up.
You picked me up.
I wanna tell you something, something my heart whispers.
Over the rainbow, in the end where the treasure is.
I found you.
Oh you noty facebook, i thank you in the middle of our war.
You are my Juliette, im your David.
Ill be your Antony, when you be my Queen.
Ill sing for you, one rainy day in west.
stars dont wait, we wait for those, under the oak tree of dreams.
wolfes sing for us, when aurora dances in the sky, for you my love, for you.
I wanna tell you something, my heart bleeds, bleeds out of love. I smile, oh yes.
Close your eyes, ill take you on a journey, beyond our minds soul.
Kiss your lips, smoothley, gentley.
Strawberrys dipped in hot chocolate, your kiss taste still in my mind.
Happy i am when you smile, smile of heavenley excuses.
Give up, not give up, one of those choises does not fit in in my life, guess what.
I gave you my word, my promiss, its still there.
Every now and then, i give you a piece of me by mail, by a typing.
Everytime you recive me with a smile, i havent met you yet, but still i meet you everyday, where ever i go.
Fill my heart with love, and i will sing for evermoore, i adore you, i belive in you, i love you.
Did i say that?
Oh yes i did.
You are all i long for, as Sinatra said, but i was before him. Couse i loved you before Sinatra sang "Fly me to the moon"
Buble`said "save the last dance for me", i was dancing with you before he sang that song.
I lit a light for you, so you find your way to me without darknesses wild teeth eating up you.
I lit a light so you can be safe.
Safe.
You are on my mind, let it be so, couse i enjoy every breath you take, every thought i send you.
Over there where the coffee shop is, there where we took our first cup of coffee, the same cafe, ten thirty in the morning we made love, ten thirty we spoke, we did everything with only a blink with an eye.
You and me, we are made for each other, we share the same soul, now, then, before.
You were never alone, couse i was there when you were born, when you had your tenth birthday, when you met me, i was allways there, only that you were never aware of that.
I was there.
I really love you, i do. Dont let go, take me in.
You have to know that, ill be allright, with you, not without you.
Deep down i want you to stay, please stay.
Get your self your wings, but never fly away from me, let me be your home. Fly do that, but return before sunset.

I love you...... I love you so

Rush

Where the silence is, where the broken arrow stopped swirling thrue the air.
Beyond our minds, illusions, desire. There we stay disoriented and lost.
Magic kingdoms dolphins swimming and dragons flying to eat up the rest of human kind that ever ruled this earth.
Protected from the dark, we seek our salvation that never comes.
We are dreamers as the rest of us canibalistic selfish human kind.
Even if the night comes draging with its darkness, Norrland will stay out of it. Sun never sets there at winter.
Its cold, cold as in syberia, there where no one lives, why do we live there?
We sing with our hearts, some of are broken ones, some of us holds a girl in our heart.
I sing for you with my heart.
Open your hand and do not slap, you are there by doomed by God.
Open your arms and take in your beloved, and you are loved by God.
Beyond our kingdom of heaven lyies our dreams, our reality, its up to you to deside whats what of them.

These silent hearts, the rush is just the same, let silence be broken............

måndag 29 november 2010

sweetness of my tung

I sit here in the dark, fantasy brings me in there.
There where the darkness is, there can i feel safe.
Couse no one knows im visiting.
I sit here in darkness, wondering, will i die couse its so dark, will i live even if the darkness catched my soul here.
Bring me some cake james, bring me some booz. I will drink. I will eat.
No not alone.
James, has she yet come, or will she be late.
James?
JAMES.....

I sit here in the darkness, waiting for that girl, she havent yet shown up. please James, bring me tears on a silver plate.
Will she come, no one knows.
Ill share my cake and my drink with my friend, i share my cake and drink with you my love.
Not yet, snow still dances outside in the moon light.
Shadows bounced against the snow walls that plow mashine has created.
Moon is so lovely this time of the year, fills emptyness with some mystic river dance.
i use to dance that dance, it was now 100 years ago, i cant remember.
Dance for me, do the funky dance and dance like you use to do on my 25th anniversery day.

James, has she shown up yet?
JAMES!

Snow is falling down, empty flings hitting my sweetness of my tung, i just swallowed a bird.
Its dark outside, memorys remaine still in my head, they never fade away, they only take a breake now and then.
Im old my love, old enough to belive in life, im young my love, young enough to belive that i can live another 100 years without failing the system.
My system, failed once, twice, third time you fixed it.
Live once, and you see the world, live twice and you see death, live the third time and you realize you are lying down next to me, we had a love conversation last night in bedroom, it was lovlie.
We talked.

JAMES!! Has she shown up yet?
James please...

I eat my cake with my friend, i eat my cake with my love of my life.

She never came...............

söndag 28 november 2010

biggest of them all

Humans most biggest fear is not that somebodys bullshitting him, its that somebody, someday will tell the truth about him...

28 november

One day it was the 28th November. Something happend that day, something that NEVER was supose to happen, ME happend....
I was born and raised in hell, my life was like a suitcase, people filled it with shit and goodies to turn me into something that i never wanted to be like.
You ask me how i feel this day, im gonna give you the solid hard truth and that is that i hate this day moore than i hate any other day. My only happy spot, exept my kids, are a girl that fell in total love with, yeah she is sweet, innocent, truthfull, lovlie, beautiful, sexy, and honest girl i meat on Facebook. I thank god for her. I promised her happyness this day, and im really trying to stay happy, but every second is long, its sliced up to many milliseconds of glory, happyness, misery, pain, so you guess how hard it is to go thrue this day.

How can a man fall so deep inlove with a girl he never meat? Its simple, i never meat her in real life, like here in stockholm, but i meat her in my dreams, in my day dreams, in my mind, everyday. So sure i meat her many times.
This love im wearing its a life long promiss that ill take care of her, love her,never harm her. Maybe it sounds hard in peoples ears to love someone, it is hard to love someone thrue life long, but not with my sugarplum, shes easy, its just there, and its so big that i could bring down all the stars in universe for her, i would give her the world, and i will wait a life long to connect with her, if i have to make my self be bitten by a vampyre to live forever after earth fall, just to hold her, ill do it with a blink of an eye.
She gives me the eternity of happyness, she makes me live, and hold on, she is the one that pumps my dam heart, she is the ONE....

So its fue houers left of this day, and i will fall insleep tonight with only one thing in my head, and that is: "my love, i celebrated my birthday as good as i could, and i will not fail with you, couse my heart bleeds of love for you my sweet love"

This is mike, signing out for tonite

Wellcome to my fucking world

You are now entering this shit with your own will, here you will heare misery, pain, burning flames from hell, maybe some good stuf to, but i can not garany you any green grass and angel songs.