Fucked up blueberrys

Like blueberrys tightened to my fist, i survive the situation of the world.

I respect that im rude, i respect that you are fucked up. But tonight im taking whats mine.

Dont ask my forgivness, i never wanted yours.

Blame the sun and its saunset, never blame me that the early snow fell, tonight i will make you fall.

Pain, im not rude, im only giving you what belongs to you, i think you lost it. Now you know how it was.

Blue berry tightened to my fist, i smash your face with it. Lights shine on my way i walk, i never fucking asked for that, but my uncle Boris choosed that for me.

Sometimes i smile, but not for you, i smaile becouse iknow you will fail.

Depressions is one of my many lifes, that came when you smiled and said hi...

Wind blows to west, and the breeze came from east. I smoked up my cigar, still i breath the same poisened air that you do.

Dont blame me for smoking, you fart in the same air i breath.

Give me your life, and i will never give mine to you, fuck you.

Reason to say fuck you.... YOU!

You want me? Fuck that you aint having me, my fantasies you spoke away, you said once my name, i still wonder how you remember my surname.

Pain is your name, and that we all know, becouse we feel it when ever you come around.

Palmtree

Out of my palm, a tree grows big and strong.

I wait for the palm tree to grow a fruit, years will pass. As my heart, years will pass...

One day i said; i give this fruit to the one that deserves it.

As my heart, for the one who deserves it.

I sang while years passed, i dreamed while years passed by.

I died once, i lived onced, but never with passion.

I joined forces of unthinkable thoughts of darkness. I joined people that never understood me.

Many stars i looked at, many stars i saw fall from heaven above.

It was then i closed my eyes with a small wet tear on my cheek, who once fell from my eye.

Thousends of knifes cutted my heart, hundreds of vains in my heart died.

Night was young, stars still only watched at those lucky once, they never saw me.

Passion of love, flew out one cold night time. I still wonder where?

A tree grows from my palm, big and strong.

Years it took before the january song could forfill its dreams for me, to fill that fruit with juicy stuff that only a dream can discover to a naked taste buds.

One day, iknew i could pick that away from my palmtree, becouse iknew aswell that the stars now saw me, when ever i looked upon the sky, this time i saw them again with a tear, but no longer will that tear cut my heart with sharp edges. It will touch my heart with promissing love of gold and silver that only a dream can wove to me and my love.

Her eyes, that was what it took, the rest, yeah the rest is a rear love story only made by God....

I started this, now i am ending this

A fool who dont think clear always involves in a battle with hunger after kill with only one strike, becouse that is his way of showing power.

A leader always involves in a battle with the knowlidge that he might get killed.

A heroe is he who knows he is entering a battle that could get him killed, but hopes that his fellow ship brothers will survive.

Never start a battle against a stronger force, if you need to go in to a battle, be sure you know what you have for kind of armory, and what you know you are willing to loose, and know what you are gonna loose.

Some things is maybe neacesery to loose, just to keep your freedom. Remember William Wallaces words, they can take our lifes, but they can never take our freedom....

Are you willing to loose your own children just to save your own freedom?

If you are prisiner in a cave you built, and you want out of there, are you willing to sacrifice your most loved ones; your children just to get out of the cave and smell the freedom?

How much will you pay for just see the blue sky in your smile?

Some people say, let it be, dont loose what you love the most. Some people say, you need your freedom, you have to think of your self too.

How do you mix theese two kinds of thoughts?

I am willing to loose mye children for my freedom, yes.... Becouse i am not a human without my freedom, and my children will have their freedom even if i loose them. My freedom is important to me, so are my childrens.

But i can not live without my blue sky in my smile.

And what is then my blue sky in my smile?

It is my future becoming wife, she is my freedom and who i am willing to sacrafise my children for. My war i started tonight, is all about to have my freedom with her.

I dont loose a battle without blood from my opponent in my hands, i share the blood just to have my freedom.

She can take my life away from me, but she can never take my freedom from me

Chocolate flavored appels under a tree

Under an tree i wait for you. Under a dark appel i wonder and stare against the stars.

I walk with my eye and wonder where the stars from midevil time took off.

Look at the boy who sang a song bout saving a rich girl, who fell in love with a boy who sang da dam di dam...

Under a dying tree i look at the footsteps from the soul from the tree went against the sunset.

Footsteps still smelled fresh.

Hate is strong, but a warming heart from a young boy is stronger. Under that tree i shutted my eyes and dreamed bout Kings and Queens in a forreign land, how are they by the way doing today?

Saved by a bell that rang in once in a school that had teachers as projecting missils against the poor children.

Rich girl took off with a boy with a guitarr. She had her doubts, becouse he never sang that song she wanted, i did.

I opened my eyes, sun thrue the oak leafes struggled it thrue all the apples that was hanging like a hanged man in rope. Im heading against to save a planet, walk with me.

Open your hand and sing with me, dont forgett to smile. No one ever listens to a guy who will save a planet or a girl, i am thou simple.

Sweet as appelpie, sweet as a saved planet or a candy in sweet water made by salt and chocolate flavored dreames.

One girl asked once if i like sea salt flavored chocolate, i said yes, she took me by the hand and flew me to a taco world, we ate, watched stars, and smiled, coz we knew life were hard, but yet so beautiful.

Peter once came home, told his mum where the dragon who burned his tounge once were? She smiled at him. Peter is young, very strong minded.

Look at that boy.

Father use to say, where are you heading my son, i never answered, he never were my father, my is dead.

Everybody, join me, sing with me. I only enjoy the life we made, and the life that never made us in time, it missed the bus from Staten Island.

I sit under an appel tree waiting for an appel to fall, i shared that fallen appel with my love, and we smiled, becouse the sky were ment for us.

I sit under a tree....

King over land and valleys

I was a king, who travelled thrue the world. To save the world, to save my love.

I walked land far far over, i stepped on every green grass that world could offer. School thought me to not fight, but world showed me, that was so wrong, i fought twice in Scottland.

Music my ears saluted, it was nice so long it existed in my eardrum.

Keep the money i gave you, i just wanted my pint.

There i berried my love once, there over there i saw a flower grow up from the ground.

I was a King once who threw the dice cross over the floore i sanded. That only happend once becouse i learned that i cant gamble with dices.

Tomorrow dies in the same hand like the other night did.

Boring changes in peoples hearts, boring doubts in peoples toungs.

Live tomorrow and you will face a truth that God holds for you, but seek and you will find it. Tomorrow....

Sing for me and i can walk another meter round the world.

Wait for me and i walk straight in to your arms.

Love me and i will never more walk a nother meter from you....

I was a king once.....

.... Only once....

A second of lifetime

Definition of a woman who makes a man standing in top of his highest mountain; Carying woman.

He looks at her with his blue-greengrey eyes, hoping she will see him, if just only for a split second.

Her hair is like a dream wave from the ocean that filled every tear with love. Her lips told a thousend year old love story, mixed with shakespears sadfull love to Juliette.

Eyes of hers blinded his words of goodness, made him weeker then he ever imagined him to be towards a woman.

He loved one january night, he loved one april morning. Future loved them both in a woven dream where god gave they his grace.

She gave him the magic word, he was very happy. He gave her his magic heart, the one that only one woman gets forever.

She made him smile one morning in the sun, she made him so happy.

Forever is a long time, but only a second in the world of love.

A second is a life time in his heart, still he loves her more then a second, he loves her a life time in gods world.

My baby, a bombergirl of love

Life never expects to turn out like you want or think.

There is big bumps, small bumps in your path in life.

Some hurt as hell, some just exists but you dont bother bout them.

People see a problem diffrently, some see it in red, some see it in blue, and some people just close their eyes.

How you do when a newclearbomb explodes in your smile one morning in the sun? How do you deal with that?

There is only one way, to live with that wound the rest of your life, and try to make the best of it. It will always be there, but a wound can heal, but it always leaves a scar.

Forgive is one of gods knowlidges, i do forgive, and i dont let love go not even for the worst kind of stupidety that can be brought upon me. Like blowing a hole in me.

I am disgusted i am very angry, but anger has left me today, its only a emptyness that are filled with huge love, but the questions keep haunting me. I waqnna forgett, i wanna move on in the path of love i have, i will manage with that, but once again, TIME is the keyword.

I do love so much still, even that there is a whole in me blown up by a very lovely person who i love with the deepest of my heart so much. I cant say, dont let this happen again, it will happen again, but i doubt i will know of it next time, what would that be called if that happends in the future, keeping information from me? Lieing to me? I dont know, is it better to be aware of it that it happend again, or is it better to not know of that? Its a question i keep asking my self over and over again...

Destroy is easy, building up hurts and are hard, you have to follow your hearts blueprint to build up that destroyed house again. I have the blueprint, iknow how to rise again. But its harder then i did ever know. But im halfway already.

Why did you act like you did? Question that nags me even thou i have the answer already, its like oil and water, you cant mix those two, they cant be mixed, my feeling is like oil and water, i understand but still i dont get it.

I just shouted in me when i saw that, NO! NO! NOOOO! DONT DO THAT TO ME!!!!!! women what can i say, they are an own species, never will i understand them.

If you never can see your own failier, how can you understand the wounds in a person that bleeded of it?

The questions are many, and i dont have the efford to nag more of that. All iknow is that i was hurt, and that i love her so much so much, i cant imagine a life without my babylove. I love you so much baby, forever 15.....

Neverland

In a land far far away from here, beyond the star to the left and and the star to the right, there lyes a place among the forgotten stars named; Neverland.

To fly there, you have to fly to statue of liberty, and straight right up.

There in the land, there is no pain, no sorrows. The wind lyes calm, touches your cheek with a memory of goodness what once was.

Your memories.

Grass is smooth as silk, soft as a icecream melted in the hot sun.

Horses running free smiling everytime you meet their blue once. Sun smiles even warmer then a laughin child who you loved once.

Nights are soft breezed, days are colder then too warm, and warmer then coldest day ever.

All you need is a light clothing, those you loved so deeply.

There, in that forreign land, lyes a house, it has red colour with white edges. A hedge that surrounds the house, not taller then you can look over it, and watch the land and walleys over Neverland, they reminds me bout a rollercoaster, just like my life was.

There is only one house, rest of that land, wich is as big as your imagination, small as your eye can tell.

Wonder around, no locks are needed, becouse there aint no fear in the air.

There aint no relatives, no one, exept the one who deserves to be there, and wants to be there with me, in the deepest of their heart.

Not so many as you see....

One thing is sure, there, in neverland, i will rest untill the day God takes me home to his paradise.

There in neverland i shall rest with a straw in my mouth, lying with my hat littlebit covering my eyes, there i listen to the wind that smiles at me.

The broken road to everdale

Its cold, night has begun. Sun has been to bed a long time ago, moon is dancing by its own.

Shadows proof how the moonboy lives everyday on.

Tomorrow gives us another day to live, if you want.

If you want to fly with me on that trip.

I dont like to wait, its happening right now, no i really dont like to wait.

Oh you beautiful morning, iknow you survive another day in my sorrow filled tears.

Iknow that even that my dreams are sailing on my ocean of tears, iknow it will never be gone to the bottom of the sea.

Its cold around me, i become the only one among shadows, my dreams are shaking, my fears are dancing.

Iknow i dance another morning in gods grace to love.

Today, forever i will morn my life, but i will make sure my love enjoys it.

it cuts in me, i dont like to wait. It cuts in me every tear that climbs down on my cheek. But i think i have to wait for another happy sun beem.

Smile and i wave to you, behind that road that splits us, behind those people that walks by me without seing me standing in my tears of long lost pain.

Broken hearts, broken dreams, im so lonely broken man, standing on my both feets on the mother earths arms.

People asked me once, i never answered, becouse i listened to the wind that told me; no one can save me.

The song brought me balalaika strings sounded in persian tones, i loved it. It reminded bout my time once....

... Once when i was happy, saved.

Heart is aching, my body shivers. I still stand here alone....

... Alone, but yet not.....

When i am gone....

When im gone, no karma can unbox my life. I my self closed the curtaines drained in blood, i was in sweden i get the point i made the choise, me Michael, no one else.

How could it be, i lost my brain to a russian bullet that screamed when it huged me smiling.

When im gone, carry on smiling, thank you.

I remember the first time, tough 32 years, first was a easy letting me do it. Second was a life that i shared with the world. My name is Michael, and when im gone, i tell you have you ever loved any one so much you gave your armour for it? Despite me, catch a plane for me, but where are you when i swing your name in a song for you in a CD record.

I am a dad, a proud one, carry on when you heare my voice of pain. Im pushing you, but you making mommy cry now, unbox daddy please, save him forreigner.

As soon as i walk out of that door, pass that treashold, you know i am gone, dont miss a curtain that is closed, the show is over, you payed for it, you dont get more then two houers for that coin you gave to that ugly lady behind that window chewing gum and giving paper tickets for green paper.

Stop swinging with your smile, i close my life like a box is closing with memories in for good...

I was once greate, but now im too hard ro read, too hard to be reached for, i am not what you said i was.

I admitt i might be dumb, but one thing i know, you cryed when my knuckles hit you down for count, so FUCK YOU!!!!

They can all go loose their humor when i say all eyes on me, im not looking for any extra attention, only a dope to fill my life im bout to tell you.

Fill my shoes and blame your ass, becouse its not beautiful to be rude like i am in my soul.

I am alone in a cold world, i tryed to get thrue, to reach after you, but you hanged up on me.

Im closing my curtaines, dont miss me, when i am gone......

A moment with Michael...

-I have a photography at my wall, in my livingroom of me. I was like five- six on that picture.

I remember that day when the photographer came home to me, i was not happy, i never wanted that photo to be taken. My mother thought it would be nice to have a photo picture of his youngest child.

When i see my eyes, i still feel the pain, those eyes tells me that i was not happy. But what can a young boy do... Nothing....

It has been like that ever since, with my family that will say. My sister thinks i am a rasist fool who dont teach my children Finnish, i dont see that necessary. Becouse Finnish language is not an important language to be taught.

Am i stupid who dont find me attractive, or handsome or goodlooking? When you tell me i am all that, it gives me goosebombs and freakens me out, in bad way ofcourse.

I never saw me all that i just said, never. When a person sayes that, i can laugh that away and change subject fast. But if my girlfriend sayes that, i cant change subject, that feeling that i have when i hear that gives it another turn out, i am being pissed of mad. I dont know why, only that it feels like a lie, i never saw my self anything else then a hopeless looser who is nothing more then unattractive and very ugly. And why cant people see what i see in the mirror? If i see a beautiful person, people agree with me, why cant then same people agree when i say i am not all that stuf that are so wonderful?

Does people say things to me only so they dont think i think that they pity me? Or does they say that just to make me happy?

I think it would be very nice if someone just told me i am ugly, i never heard anyone say that. Either they change the subject if i ever ask what they think of me, or they just say that i look good, but there eyes sayes something else, like they are forced to say nice stuf to me, even if they really dont want to say.

Tell me i am anything of that i sayed, and i want to cry, not of happyness, i wanna cry becouse all i heare is a lie.

It hurts, it feels so painful to heare that.

I am not handsome or goodlooking, ever will i be. But please, dont tell me lies.

I just wanna sit in a dark room, watching movies by my own, shut down my computer and mobile.

Maybe cry, or just sit quiet, houers. Its not fun to be ugly, when all you see is people that are good looking.

I had a girlfriend, my first, how we ended there is a mystery, but still, she saw others they were goodlooking, better then me. Why she choosed me if she found them so beautiful? If you choose a person to be inlove with, find someone that beats every one you ever saw in a magazine, that i always do, and i found a girl who no other girl can compete with, there is no magazine or movie star that are more beautiful then she is.... That is how i see a relationship should be built by. But thats just me who thinks like that.

Dont choose a guy or a girl just becouse you dont wanna be alone, choose who are the beautifullest in the world, in heart in soul and in body and face. I did that, and i got one that are above my expectations....

I dont know what else to say, i just dont like those words against me, thats all, i am so sorry for me, for who i am, i truly deeply are sorry.

/Michael