Time took my babys heart away

When the world no longer watched at us, when the nature no longer gave us the inspiration to the love that we so long did seek.
When the humans hope fades for every single coin that is dropped in the lucky well.
When there no longer screams help from anywhere, then there shall i stand with my head up high and wonder who stole my shadow of darkness and my heart of pure pain. Who would have been that egoistic to choose my pain over a gods sented angel heart.
I knew that i never would have given any answers, but i also knew that only the answers to the lies i betray inside of my heart, could only be answered by my own sort of kind to man.

I punctured my buble of fear, and out flooded the fear that smelled as the bitter sweet smell of fading flowers on a rainy sunday afternoon.
My fear should have never have ran out from that buble i had for so long inside of me, i feel so empty i told my shrink when he never asked me.
I feel so empty, what has nursed me for so long, i today only smell its bitter smell sometimes, you know like if it was a woman who went pass a blind man in a hallway, he only smelled her perfume mixed with the beauty she had dressed up for just that eavning.

Fear is not anymore a basic ingredience in my heart and mind, it is still there sometimes, but not shaped as the fear it was once, no it has a wierd colour shape that looks more like as a hate cape...
I watched my sons play that damn guitar, i saw my daughter play with my granny among the angels that sang the sweetest lullaby for my sweet princess, she who was so angry at her mother few weeks ago so she slamed a door and thrue a star shaped pillow on the floor; just to remind her mother that i am still here bitch, dont fucking forgett me.
I never forgett her, thou she is so lovlie based in my heart.

I remembered my other child, the who i visited week 8, and week 12 found out and saw how the heart stoped beating... If words could ever describe what tunnel i went thrue that afternoon, when i went to say hi to my baby, and saw how the heart of my child had stoped beating.... The other week was good, the heart beated, but now... its all so strange, the tunnel i fell thrue, how i rejected that: Thats not my child, see look how the fear ate me that sunny noon....
Nor did i cry, no i rejected my own blood, just so i wouldent get hurt...
I forgot that thing, until the other night that shaded my mind.

Laugh and run like the flower that has sprung out of its seed. Laugh and sing the cheerful songs of joy and hallelujah, just maybe for once, just maybe, just maybe for once for the one who you love.
Love came one day, it went out thrue the backdoor, by the way, im home honey.... As i spoke, as it much it ached between the walls that even dident have any paintings on, just the frames hanging there silent amd empty, empty from paintings.
Just like my life.
Crack up a beer, live the life of la vida loca and sing the bible songs that the good christian bitches trashed...

iknow what i will do, i will disepeare thrue that backdoor that you dident know existed and i will look at a better day to come.
My bus im wating on is coming soon.
Its coming soon, really soon......