Capones last dance

My heart beats so that i hardly can recognize my own breathing. There we were, out dancing, i took you by your arm, leaded you out on that sidewalk, where the only lamp stood and flirted with the darkness.
The light shined down on us, and the air was filled with smiles and happyness.
There we were, me holding you, slow and charmfully taking you thrue the song that only we heard.
We danced like never before, as the darkness smiled with the caressing light that shined upon us.

Capone must have been mad, when he sat there on alcatraz and smoked his cigars that only he could afford to have,
He must have been mad when he wrote that song. Song that only Capone knew bout, song that never were released on the streets. A song that we now stood and danced to.
Cheek to cheek, smile to smile, love to another, we stood there, just holding each other like it would be the last we ever did.
Time captured us, it captured our time... We never knew that it did, why? Becouse we were on that street.

What is love filled songs? What is love filled smiles, if not spelled like your name. Your name came with love, your name came as a substitute to my name, it came in one bag and it was delivered to me by a stork, you know those who deliveres babys in cartoons, yeah it was a cartoon stork that delivered our love to us.
Maybe i am a fool who stands here, with my beating heart and me who hardly can speak, hardly can get a word out of me... Im in heaven on cloud 9...
It seems that i found a happyness a là cartoon stork.
Maybe i did, but please dont stop this dance, here on the side walk, just dance forever with me, then i will reach the highest mountaines with you among our sheets, and my sallary will be your smile and a kiss on my nose, a gentel one.

The day came, work came, weekend came, night fell upon me, new day grew from the tree of knowlidge in gods yard.... I still waiting on that dance on the side walk i never had with you, i never had it with you becouse i dont even know who you were, or are, all iknow that a new day woke up and my dance with you to Capones song that never hit the streets of L.A, were just another dream that i can gather in my yearbook of dreams....

...Just another dance in my book of love

Innocent kiss in the guilty rain

Many years has passed since that summer day. Do you remember me? That boy who once picked that red rose without knowing better back then.

I am that boy who picked that rose, for one sake only, to one day have your heart beside my heart in that bed.

I was a dreamer, and my dreams never became true, but they always were me very present.

My dream.... My dream that never came true:

-Morning sun had just broken, and the jealous sky looked upon us with guilty clouds staring at us, as we lied in that bed all naked under the blanket, white as the snow.

Sun beems shined upon your face, your cheeks glittered in the morning light.

I smiled at you, you smiled, even that your eyes just woken up from a deep sleep.

I caressed away a hairstraw that had fallen upon your face, the sun dident heat up my body, it was my heart that burned that morning, burned so strong that it warmed me.

Time stood still, allmost like it dident exist.

'I leaned forward right close to your lips, i whispered "i love you" and kissed you as slow as 100 years was to have taken its time. It was a gentel kiss, innocent kiss.

And i smiled, just becouse you smiled.

-My dream, that never came true.

Many years has gone, mant days has suffered its time. I never made promisses like theese, there must have been some that i broken, but never i broke my promiss of my dream, just becouse it never went to my hands so i could do it.

The rain fell down, and the sun beems were long gone, do you still remember me? The one that promissed you to take that hairstraw away from your eyes and face so i could give you that everlasting kiss, the one you deserved.

The sun never shined this late afternoon, it was the tears of the rain that remembered me of my dream.

One gentel kiss... One innocent dream... And the rain from the sky....

Do you still remember me....?

Those eyes...

In the eyes lies the surface to truth.
Its scary as much it is threatful...
Eyes, natures magical creation. As deep as the atlantic ocean, you truly can drown your self in them, in good and in bad.
Eyes can kill you as the same time they can save a broken heart.
Eyes, so fragile, so dangerous but still so pleasent.

What do we care bout those people who made our body shiver becouse they had this georgeous body that made our lust be filled with candy, what do we care, becouse the eyes of that human destroyed that vision to thousends of peaces, and you dident even like his body, becouse it wasent that tasty one as you saw in that other one.
Yeah those eyes, so dangerous, so destroying...

So many adventures i saw in them, so many diffrent scenarious i saw in them, the eyes of a stranger.
Can i tell you the story i saw in them?

-When the early rose red as the poisened lips, bloomed out for the very first time in april month.
And the wind calmed down after the nothern cold that has had its blanket now for a decade over the solid ground, there it was, here it came. I think it was something i never thought could be.
The sound of the waves from Rio de janeiro hit my feelings in my heart, i heard them splash in to the wall where the white house stood. On that hill.
There was a humming in your eyes, there was a voice, i could not understand, but it was as magical as a magnet that had captured me.
If i only could taste for once the taste in your eyes, in that soul of them.
I think i would drown my self in that atlantic ocean i see in them.
I wanna drown, i wanna lye sleepless as cinderella on the beach and just hope that when i open my eyes after 100 years of sleep, then, there the first thing i would see, is your eyes.
If you had closed them before i saw them on that street that very early sunday morning, i would have gone pass you, and still be frozen here on the street while i walked among the city lights and the light beems from the cars...
Those eyes, they are something indescribably magically beautiful...
Those eyes...


-Years may pass, and i wount even lay a thought in what i saw once, but when i one day will recall them again, then i will stay forever..
Only then i will stay..

Those eyes.....

Time took my babys heart away

When the world no longer watched at us, when the nature no longer gave us the inspiration to the love that we so long did seek.
When the humans hope fades for every single coin that is dropped in the lucky well.
When there no longer screams help from anywhere, then there shall i stand with my head up high and wonder who stole my shadow of darkness and my heart of pure pain. Who would have been that egoistic to choose my pain over a gods sented angel heart.
I knew that i never would have given any answers, but i also knew that only the answers to the lies i betray inside of my heart, could only be answered by my own sort of kind to man.

I punctured my buble of fear, and out flooded the fear that smelled as the bitter sweet smell of fading flowers on a rainy sunday afternoon.
My fear should have never have ran out from that buble i had for so long inside of me, i feel so empty i told my shrink when he never asked me.
I feel so empty, what has nursed me for so long, i today only smell its bitter smell sometimes, you know like if it was a woman who went pass a blind man in a hallway, he only smelled her perfume mixed with the beauty she had dressed up for just that eavning.

Fear is not anymore a basic ingredience in my heart and mind, it is still there sometimes, but not shaped as the fear it was once, no it has a wierd colour shape that looks more like as a hate cape...
I watched my sons play that damn guitar, i saw my daughter play with my granny among the angels that sang the sweetest lullaby for my sweet princess, she who was so angry at her mother few weeks ago so she slamed a door and thrue a star shaped pillow on the floor; just to remind her mother that i am still here bitch, dont fucking forgett me.
I never forgett her, thou she is so lovlie based in my heart.

I remembered my other child, the who i visited week 8, and week 12 found out and saw how the heart stoped beating... If words could ever describe what tunnel i went thrue that afternoon, when i went to say hi to my baby, and saw how the heart of my child had stoped beating.... The other week was good, the heart beated, but now... its all so strange, the tunnel i fell thrue, how i rejected that: Thats not my child, see look how the fear ate me that sunny noon....
Nor did i cry, no i rejected my own blood, just so i wouldent get hurt...
I forgot that thing, until the other night that shaded my mind.

Laugh and run like the flower that has sprung out of its seed. Laugh and sing the cheerful songs of joy and hallelujah, just maybe for once, just maybe, just maybe for once for the one who you love.
Love came one day, it went out thrue the backdoor, by the way, im home honey.... As i spoke, as it much it ached between the walls that even dident have any paintings on, just the frames hanging there silent amd empty, empty from paintings.
Just like my life.
Crack up a beer, live the life of la vida loca and sing the bible songs that the good christian bitches trashed...

iknow what i will do, i will disepeare thrue that backdoor that you dident know existed and i will look at a better day to come.
My bus im wating on is coming soon.
Its coming soon, really soon......

GOD will never forgive you

Darkness took over his soul, over his heart.
He worked day and night.
Not knowing where he was heading at, where he was bout to end up.
The wine he was zipping on, made him totally out of controll, he dident more see him as the one he once was.
Who was he?
Answers never ached between the walls that surrounded him where he was.
Never spoken word, nor thought.
Never a tear fallen on the ground, he was compleatley alone.
Alone from that breath the woman took once.

She told him she was the one for him, he doubted, why? Becouse her words dident sound the way she was telling them.
She was a gift to him, aswell as a mistery to him. How could he ever belive what he never had been touching?
She drew him mad, mad over the border, border of feelings and depressions of sadness.
Who was she to claim him hers? Who was she to tell him one thing, and menting some other thing?
I do not know.
Neither did she, even that iknew better then that word.

I drank another zip on my cider, the cider was ment to drown him, in the lies that she spoke.
How canm iknow what you meen when you speak a diffrent language?
How can i know...
She changed alot since the day that god took it away. The love.
Words travell faster then the truth of silence.
Words... yeah words so dangerous so silent.
All this time, all theese lies.... Why? Why? Why?
YOU LIE TO ME!!!! YOU LIED TO ME!!!! YOU ARE LIEING TO ME!!!!

She denies it in her mind.
Iknow you are lieing, i smell that so clear.
Open your palm infront of you, and you will see a fire, a flame enter on it, that flame is your truth...
It dont burn? No becouse you are as black as the death in your soul.
Dont bring your lies upon me and wonder why the hell i am not around anymore... Dont shade the tear you told once.
Dont ever use GOD in your words just to get what you want, shame on you... SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!

You dont listen, i can feel it, you only care for your self, you always did, you love your self more then you eve can love anyone else. May God have mercey upon your soul, upon your black destroyed soul of lies.
You talk, but all i feel is that you are spitting.
So pathetic.... I laugh becouse you are more then pathetic.
You dont burn my soul with your words, you only nurse my hate even more.
Dont ever do that....

Dont ever use GOD as a weapon to get... what... you... want.....

Pinkred smile and a slight thunderbird in the heart

If you knew my words, as you said once.

If you knew me as you once told me, i would never feel lonely or fallen apart like i have been doing the past time.

I was lonely once, i was resqued once, but my resque operation somebody bossed over, became my lonelyness again as it were once.

Relax i have been here a very long time, just becouse i thought people knew me, but the time showed me i was wrong, or was it them who were so off the record?

Listen to my heart, it speaks a language that only one know and understands, the one who loves me rightfully and truthfully.

Those who never understands me shall neither come to me say they love me.

Ask after the only key that was made for my heart, ask for it and maybe you shall recieve it, or maybe not.

It all depends on who you are, and if you can sing the song my heart sings out.

Let there be love, let there be songs, but only for those who deserves it.

I am ther one that comes walking on that road with my briefcase, i stay a while, but when the sun goes up one beautiful morning i will be long way off from you, and you and you...

Im just a traveller, dont miss me, becouse when i once left, i never return, just forget me thats the best.

Laughs dont last more then a day, not more then a eternity. They only are like me, they come and go.

Smile your still alive, smile and the whole world smile at you.

I left a message on my answering machine, it told you to look away at the sun, all i did was bring bad clouds to the life you called misery.

I was the misery, never you.

Im just a traveller, one day im here second im long gone, somewhere in this world, somewhere in the world, right now i am in London, but tomorrow i will be in San fransisco...

I am not rich, but if you listen closer, you will find a rich song my heart sings, but only if you are the one who understands me, then you will understand the lyrics.

Smile please... smile becouse you will make me happy, i only want people to smile.

I bring bad times, iknow. One day i will die, one day. And if you just smile for once, then iknow i still exists.

I never wanted fights, i never wanted harm, but my devils made me angry.

Want a peace of me in your life, then please.... Smile, then i will smile.

When the sky is pink red, and the wind is calm and you feel happyness in your heart, then look up in the sky and you will know that i was there, just right next to you.

When the sky is pinkred, and the wind is calm.... then you know i was there....

Smile, and i will smile......

A lonely time

Summer is soon here, i use to know that one.

Winter and fall went pass me like that dream i hardly knew...

It all almost sounded like a dream i once dreamed.

Ive been told i was among company, i know that i never fitted in.

Travelling to London or Sam Diego, still iknew were Russia was.

Ive been doing some soul searching, finding that high tower i never found on the forreign ground.

Some one like you...

Some one...

There has been a reason for me to say i was all around the world, maybe i was.

Lately i do have realized that the best has yet to come.

I never felt sattisfyed over you, not quite not totally, not ever.

I only knew that i went inside that tunnel of light, and never found my self out.

It all happend so quick, i tryed to find out why i wanted to shut that love song on the radio.

Iknow that i cant come to the phone, iknow that i shutted the phone for some reason.

I am much stronger them you ever realized, and i know that you were still there of some reason.

Let me change that callendar day i wrote the words in.

Every song reminds me bout a time, aswell as it makes me forgett.

Sad dont belong in this story, sadness doesent fly any diffrent way then your smile once did.

Tired with wishes, done with songs.

Why cant i turn of that radio...

So lonely inside of me, i have been that now for a long while. I tryed to explain for you, but you never knew.

Broken angel, or broken word, i still know i did what i could, but my word was so hard for you to understand.

Your not lonely, becouse if you were you would know what lonelyness was, i have been there and i am still there.

She danced that very early day in september

She danced on waves of the sand, she dived in the sea among the dolphins, never looking moore beautiful then this day.

Smiling when she saw at me, at the sea and the waves.

Allmost like it was her last day on earth, cherishing the last moment God had given her.

Cherishing all that she had to be given after all years she had lived.

She danced, flew over the beach that caressed her feets that was all naked.

It allmost felt like a dream to see her run down the sand beach, flowers couldent been more beautiful, nor could the songs from the birds...

There she was, that very early day, there she was so happy and full of life.

Maybe i dreamed this day, maybe i was awake, but please understand that what ever it was... I never wanted to leave...

Never did i want to leave....

... She danced that same day she past away...

Just somebody

In the mystic river, you hiding your guilt..

When you said your so happy you could die, tellin im so right in your company...

In the mystic river you hiding your guilt...

In the end i told you im glad its over, but my guilt was as deep as your river.

You dident have to change that number, or keep it.

Now your just somebody that i use to know...

In the end of the past you described to be so screwed up strange...

It was always something i had done, dont hang up on just somebody you use to know.

Friends collect the diamonds of fear you wear.

Now your just somebody i use to know, still fading like that one.

In the mystic river, you hide your fears and guilt deep down in the colderness.

Telling my self that im so happy i could die, i died that very early sunday morning.

Put roses on my grave and they decomposes as the feelings your friends develoaped for you.

World spins around, just like your thoughts did.

You belive that it was always something i had done, still you couldent been more wrong then you were when you cutted me of.

You dident have to stand so low as my guilt, nor high as my pride.

Now your just somebody i use to know...

That i use to know.....

A claim from mother god and father nature

A child is born in to this world, without clothes without any tools, yet do we even speak our mothers language.

But still, we are so loved, by our fathers and mothers.

We grow up with rules, with promisses, with love and hate.

Somewhere there we learn that we have to take own decissions, take a step back to watch the world we are involved in.

We learn that the game of life is all bout loosing and winning. Some of us see a win as a lost, and a lost as a gain, a winning situation.

When we get old we know what wrong we did before and even that we dont have powers to lift a rock, we do have power to change what we did wrong and teach our children that what we did was wrong.

Sometimes you win sometimes you loose, thats a part of the life we were given, but that dont meen that if we loose once, we always carry our head under our arm.

Fenix the bird was risen once from the ashes, its the same with us, we need to rise from the ashes.

Find a way to deal with the losses and deal with the game we gain in. Dont be reckless with the win you gain, dont be spoiled and think your no good if you loose, admitt thats only life thats trying to teach you how to be strong.

Admitting its failiers is a sign of strength, being true to your self is a sign of respect towards to you. All that dont neacessery meen you love your self.

The important think is not to love your self, its being honest to your self and respecting your own integrity.

Help others, be there for others even if it means to be all that to strangers, God wanted us to help our fellow men on earth, the world will go under if people stop helping each other.

We dont learn to know more people if we dont dare to look the world in the eyes and say: I will be there to people even how badly i will be hurt, i still belive in the goodness god planted on this earth once.

I dont ask for anything then a belife that i exist and are taked seriously.Thats all i claim of this world.

among the valleys and farms, i shall walk my path

I stand on the valleys of scottland, looking out over the fields that god made.

Green soft grass waving to the world as the wind passes by.

Air soft and clear, fills my lungs with passion to the sons that shade blood for every man that stood up for every valley and farm.

I stand here, now on the valley that once were the battle field between the englishman and scottish warriors....

The brittanians and the wales stood for there word.

The king took his right and gave him the virginnity from my wife, he took her life that morning when i was bout to be that man who the King claimed him...

I stand here reminding my self why i still are strong, why i rised from the ashes, it was all becouse i never gave up. i fought for every right the man has, for every right the woman has to have.

i stand one last time here, watching over the valleys and remembering my past...

I will be gone now, far from here far from every fellow that knew me once...

I am gone now, and i turned my way and walked the long path that life and god will give me, where i end up what ever will happen to me, iknow i did it all becouse i was strong....

Snow fell from a hated sky in a cold lonely world

A world without humans.

Time without fast forward or rewind.

Air like a thick slime rinning down the throat and never reaching the stomach...

A world without humans, a perfect world.

My shouting echoes in the air, soundwaves bounces between the fallen buildings and cars empty standing on the roads, theres no one there to answer my shouting.

A world like i want it to be, only me and some breeze from the calm wind that caresses my cheek.

Down below the corps are starting to whisper to me, tempting me to their tea party.

I am listenning, observing with a smile in my mind.

Every step i take echoes in the wind, every breath take sounds like the bell from Big Ben in noon time.

I dont ask for time anymore, becouse the time stands still, even if its dark or sunny.

No more stressing, no more habits of must do things. No more stupid people who never wanted to get the wierd one seriously.

Its a tea party for only me.

Memorys remains calm and alive, from people that existed once.

Let me live, let me die, i no longer care thou i am alone now, in a non existing world below gods paradise.

God, yea God made me and deported me to mother earth so he could forget me slowly but true.

My pockets are as empty as gods love to me. I dare god, i love god, i challenge god.

I bow infront of god feets in respect of him and a knowledge to me that not even god can defeat me if i dont want.

He made me, i created me, people develoaped me. I became one of a kind, i became that reptile in the water that seeks a victime to kill, i became that predator that waited for you to make a mistake so i could hunt you down... I became the one that survived a time where time stood still and god forgot me.

Corps asking me to a tea party, i tell them to wait another year or two, for aslong as iknow, im living la vida loca now, alone in a cold world where only i exist.

I think god can wait another thousend years before he remembers me again.

I am now, i am here, i am nobody still i am somebody.

I survived me, i survived the death of the gods, but i dident survive the teeths of love, it destroyed me.

Now i hate, now i eat the rotten thoughts, now i am a living dead, enjoy it or not i might survive this episode of part 4 in my life.

Snow fell today, i hated it.......