The prototype that failed

-I will tell you a little story, and its up to you to belive if its a real or fake story. This "story" is more likely thoughts i have.

I belive in life, love and god. I belive that we share the same dreams but in diffrent shapes.

I belive that we all need something in our lifes, so it dont swallow us totally, the darkness in us.

I belive too in justice and the power to the people.

I belive in so much...

But even how much i belive in, all those aint much to joy for, if you dont see them in you.

How can a man be blind for something he belives in? Someone erased the belife in him.

This story is more likely a true feeling we all carry.

When you belive in love, then people might think something very diffrent then what you think of.

When you belive in life, then people might think something diffrent in that topic too...

So when people start building their storys round your belives, then it might end up to something nasty.

Americans say: If there aint no body then there aint no proof...

Is it so with the belife in people to your belife?

Just becouse you see something, does it justify the truth that it is that way? Or can you buy your self free with just the simple sentence: Its my belife, not yours...

How can i make you belive in what i tell you, if you aint willing to belive in that?

How can i be sure that you truly belive in what i say when you say: Ok i belive in you?

Answer: You can never be sure.

If we could read minds, then we would know the solid fact of the word i do belive you.

Dond judge a human, its not your area. Where goes the thin line between judging and not judging?

And what if i judged you? Does the world end here? Am i being punished now by God? No i am not being punished by God, but maybe you who over reacted on that i judged you, but instead i never judged you, i only spoke something that you dident understand and you thought i ment something bad bout you, so automatickly you took that judghing thing as a self mechanism for protecting what is yours -YOU!

I dont think we can say much bout someone before it sounds judgingly bad.

I dont think we can breath this air without getting cought for inhaling the air.

We aint more then humans, we fail, we rise, we fall, but still next day we stand infront of that mirror at home of our childhood home and masturbate to us selfes while we watch in the mirror and pretend that we are Elvis in Graceland.

So what ever i am pointing at, i just wanna say that what ever we belive in, that IS our belife, not your friendly neighbours whos standing next to you.

So thats the story, pretty amazingkly hard to understand and get huh?

-I was thinking bout other stuff too, well more likely many stuff, my head spinns round and creates one thing after another, and its allmost all stupidety stuff.

Lately i have been thinking very much of my self, that i am pretty ugly, nothing worth and etc...

When people disagree with me i persume they lie, i cant be sure if they lie or not, i only know that it feels like that.

I hate when people say something nice bout my look or me becouse i allways heard nice stuff bout me that iknew later they only said to me becouse they wanted to be nice to me.

I hate to shower, becouse i was forced in the shower when i was a kid.

I hate to cut my hair becouse i was forced to cut it when i was a kid.

I think that i was just a prototype to a failed version of "a perfect boy"

Mother created me, programmed me, hit the autopilot when she thought that her prototype was finished, and then took and leaned back in her sofa and smoked a cigarr and drank her brandy in the ray of light... Suddenly her creation, her prototype started to go awfully wrong in his system, the screen screamed "ERROR SYSTEM FAILIER" she tryed to save the program, but what to do she couldent do that, so she abandoned the prototype and turned her back to it.

And ever since that day the prototype walked the earth and was on autopilot...

How can a programmed prototype manage to push that button to manuell stiring by its own? I still wonder, becouse i am still on autopilot still today.

-I wondering, is there anything i do that is good enough? Am i enough to feed the world with my presens? Or am i only one little seed in the wind that is blown from the fields in Alabama to southwest Africa without being seen?

Everybody likes to be seen once in a while, some wants it badly more then others, but somewhere we all wanna be seen once and a while, even me.

I feel that people wanna own me, they say i dont own you do what you like... So when i do what i like, its not approoved without alot questions that has a negative sound in it.

I am not for sale, not now not ever, its a fact that has been approoved by me since anno 1978...

Enough of this shit, im just tired of being me being this prototype that failed and walks on autopilot, HEY MIKE MIND THE GAP... oops there he fell.......

Anyway all i wanna say is that im back on this blog again and hellboy just rised from its grave.

Im coming to you now and hell is coming with me, mark my word...

This is fue words from Mike "the prototype that failed"

Life as it is, its a hell and its a heaven

-Human mind!!!!!! What is that?

We work diffrently, all of us. We think diffrently, all of us. But we are so alike.

We have a habitt to see things in a angle that fits us, when we see a searten thought and belive and feel that it is like that, then we settle with that thought and buy it to 100%. Its then we think we know that it is like that.

It never acured you that you might see it from that angle that the other 3,5 billion people see it from, too??

Just becouse you think an apple is red, it doesent have to mean that the apple have to be red, it can be green too.

What is the diffrence between your neighbour, and you? Is it what we work with? Or is it becouse you are way more better then him?

Answer, and the true answer no matter what YOU say against me, i am right. And the answer is; we are both humans, no body is better then the other.

It doesent matter what you work with, it dont make you more diffrent from me, we are both flesh and blood made by GODs breath, and mother earths mudd.

Men have a bad way of seing magazine girls as their potential girlfriends, wich is so sick, you can never have that photoshop girl, she dont exist, its just a peace of paper you see, and by the way, she would never look at you on the street if you met that photoshopped girl.

Girls have a bad way to belive that if you are a Hollywood star or a singer, you are not human, so its ok to fuck them behind her mans back. They never understand that even if you are a star, it dont make them to anything else then a human, and your man or husband or boyfriend to a cheeting victime, that you made.

I have a good example: I saw before a guy who said that no girl looked at him or said anything sexy of him, suddenly he went to "IDOL" that program on TV where they gamble who sings best, when he made it there pretty good, every girl suddenly started to whizzle and say sweet stuff like he is so good looking and all that.

So a girl thinks its ok to fuck a guy if he is a star or famous, and they dont see that as cheeting.

Humans have a bad way of seing a famous person better looking and sexyer then his or her partner... My advise, if you in your heart think that some famous is better looking then your partner... PLEASE FOR GODS SAKE BREAKE UP!!!!!! It showes only the world that he or she is not the one you wanna be with.

If you have a partner, then that shall be everything, more then anyone else is, in every areas.

You wouldent have to stare your self blind and smile on a nother guy if you have a partner.

It is cheeting when you starting to develoap a sight to more then you can handle.

Its natural to think a girl or a boy is beautiful, that is ok becouse we are humans, but starting to see him or her as better looking then your partner, then you shall not have a partner, you aint mature yet to have a relationship yet.

So we humans are humans no matter what we work with, we are the same, no one is better then anyone.

CHILDREN!!!! Yea what about children? They dont understand the logical things as we grown ups do, so please have patience with your children.

Dont hit them as soon as they fail, they will not learn anything from hitting, more then that they can hit others, and when they grow up, they only know its ok to beat up his wife, or her husband, or beat up his own kids.

Teach them with words and knowlidge of the bad and good in the world, not hit never.

This was only fue thoughts i have had the past week that has gone, and i needed to write it down.

Trust me on this, if i dident know i am right in this little posting, then i would never have posted it......

Castle of standing kings

Tell me you miss me, tell me no stories of what you once knew.

Dream castle stands alone in my dreams, are no more haunted then your dreams.

I suffered once for a girl, i told her where my safe is, one day i was empty and open...

I belive in my safe to be closed, but only for that day when i can trust that nobody breakes in it again.

What is a heart?

Does it lie?

Iknew the words "im the only one" once, i belived on them until i saw the dream she kept from me.

Tell me you miss me, tell me no stories....

I am nothing more then a soldier of gods will and orders from our seargent.

I am Michael, i am no body, i came once, one day i am gone.

Together we can fight the sunset, together we can breake the lie from a dark shutted world.

Nights are getting darker, it suffecates the fall from love. Until we hold each other, then we breath again.

Tired of being lonely, tired of riding the potential love that you bet you sallary on.

Loosing for a day, winning for a minute, what you choose?

Hold my heart for one second, belive in it for a minute, save it in you for an houer...

Love song that gave me a smile, i rather heare Miss may i who sang how he hated the world.

Comfort in a hatefull song gives me relief, love song from Taylor is only making my stomach go wild with puke and sleeping pills.

Give me alcohol and i give you a smile, just becouse you were sweet who shared the same thought as me.

Maybe i am the only who understands you, does that mean i belong to you?

Dream castles are ment to be dreamed in, not live in.

Iknow that i live in a cold hard world, not in that castle...

One eavning smile

With thousend miles home, im waiting for someone.

Inside the walls the bells are silent, the moon the night no nobody is happyer then the child who sleeps without no evil harm.

With eyes that tells dont cry, are singing for me.

Somewhere over white blanket mountaines of white snow, there somewhere a choir sings the song that we sang for our kids.

When you pass me, dont stop, keep walking becouse you will never know me, but i will smile upon you, iknew you once, once when you were alive but now it seems you forgotten me.

Sky is falling down on the springs nose, the tounge of summer will whisper a warm breeze to you.

To keep you warm in a summer rain.

In the heart it is written with rare letters, those letters that a man got a moon and a field in a womans heart.

I never deserved those valleys, i only deserved that what she gave me one december night, when she walked me by without seeing me... but i do did my smiling becouse, yea iknew her once and she me....

You know where to find me, dont go yet, just pass me by. So i can smile one more time.

Memories in a soft slowmotion showed me an old video in my head how we danced that summer eavning that was warm and nice, we smiled that night, today winter froze your heart, and all we share is a soft breezed memory that once were....

Sunshine lips and love telling fields

Days feeling lonely, miss you. Thinking with an empty heart, wishing she was here to fill it with eyes of blessed child.

Tear fell down like a monsune rain on one lane road, i pray and hope she comes to kiss it away with shining sun with bright stars.

I fell inlove with her, fell inlove with her eyes. Time today stands still, seconds so hard so tearing.

But iknow i love that girl i fell inlove with....

Smiles thought me about a world that existed beyond the fields i only knew.

Silence surrounded of memories of painful living from past. Knife stabbed me many times in my back, friends did that.

So many tears i shade before, tears with no exit graved in.

Years went, i missed a pair of lips i never knew existed, but i still dreamed bout that star that shines brighter then any other one.

Days went minutes went with years by.

Now i live on the other side of the hedge, i can only wait, becouse that girl, she will come, iknow now for sure.

I fell inlove with an alien, i love her so much....

Class of 2011 3.0

-Human is a very complexed animal. But yet so easy to understand, maybe becouse i am a human my self.

We see things, we feel things, we think diffrent but still likewise.

Feelings, yea feelings.... If you see the colour red, you feel maybe love or maybe a heart, but most of all you feel the warm feeling.

Blue colour, you maybe think of ice, or pure, but most of all you think of cold.

Thats is what im trying to say, we see things we develoap them to feelings.

Some of us like me, we can have one searten issue or thing that happens or happend in our life formed to a song that fits in that issue.

When i read facebook postings, most of the time i dont just read it, i feel the writers feelings behind that posting. Its much easyer to understand what he or she is trying to say with that posting.

I work as a sander, when i come to a floor i never saw before, well ive seen every floor in sweden i mean pine ive seen, oak ive seen, etc... But i mean that appartments or that houses floor, that i never have seen before. The first thing i do is to check the floor, walk around quiet, feel the floor, what is the floor trying to tell me...

When i have the message from it then i start to talk with the owner. When i have a problem wich i can not solve with the floor i sit down on the floor and let it start to tell me its secret recipy to solve the issue, and 99% of the times i get the answer, i call it "consulting time with the floor" or "let the floor whisper to me".

So what we humans do, we do it with feelings.

We all are the same but we do it in diffrent ways, a good example on what im trying to say is that every human has their nose on same place as every one else, eyes we have on the same place, we have 2 eyes 1 nose 1 mouth on exact same place, but still we look so diffrent from each other.

The thinking way is the same we think so alike, but still so unlikely...

There is the interresting part to study human, same same but different.

So what im trying to say with this posting is that we pick up everything in feelings more or less, so that must mean that we all are built by feelings, some have more feelings some less, but still we feel in our soul what ever we do.

This is my class, stay and learn or be dismissed....

Here but still not there

Walking along the streets. Dissepearing among the shadows of darkness. I was bruised from the battles in me.

Reflection in a window gave me no recognition of who i was.

Walking among the avenue of stones, friends gone, vanished in my vaines long time ago.

Night fell that day upon my soul, my shoulders weighed heavy that night, i was alone that night.

Skin of mine itches against my clothes, feeling my self fading away, like that kiss that came to me one day in cold November.

Walking among the shadows of houses, streets. Its cold around me, its dark around my body.

I cant tell how i felt, i dont know my self anymore, i changed maybe over that night when i visited the streets of Philadelphia.

Steps my feet hit on the ground never heard to the valleys of Scottland as i wanted.

I still feel my self fading away. Leaving slowly this cold rotten world.

Play that song for me later.

Not even a mirror wanted to give me the highest score in looking good, then who can?

I was once i was never. I wanna go home, yet sit here awhile...

Im alone, keeping all the thoughts i wrote on one line in my head, it fitted one thousend and still not even a single letter.

Im a scientist, did you know that? Ofcourse you dident, you never wanted me to explore your body and your love, what is a scientist without exploring his work he love?

Belief is something we cherish, but only in that little world of flowers of yours.

Streets are dark, silent, empty... Im all alone, it all be alright. I go to sleep when no body notice that...

I might be lost, but yet not found.

Good things never last, iknow becouse i was good once....