LOVE is just a word, its whats behind it that spooks

-When you know that something is so right, but feel that something is awfully wrong.
What do you do, what do you do....?

When you know exactley wich way head against, but you still think what if something goes wrong....?
When everything in you tells you that its all good its ok dont worry....
But you still have that voice inside of you that whispers: Dont take anything for granted, one day you see that you failed...

We can count so many feelings, we can count so many times we failed and still dont remember the digit we came up with according to all those times we failed, thats called being human.
If we dont learn from our misstakes, were still human beings, but we are foolish people.

Is it right to go around worrying too much? If we live with the word: What if...
Then i would wanna ask, am i healthy, will i manage to live a happy life? No, if we live in the fear: what if...
Then we live with a burden, and god dont want us to have burdens in our life.

What is it that gives the relationship its name? Is it just the name? Or is it what its built of?

May i ask you one thing, and can you please answer me with true heart? What is LOVE for you, and how do you think a relationship between two people, partners in life, should be?

I have asked that alot from people, and i got always the same answer: Be true and honest to each other.
Now if everyone sais this, so why then i see them do opposit, how come i see them NOT be true and honest?
Faithfull is one of the favourite words too, but do i see that by them who speaks this? No.... I dont see that what they are speaking bout.

A blind man cant see, its the same if a blind man suddenly say: Hey did you see that TV show on channel one?
Its as rediculus as that when a person speaks that he or she is so faithfull and true and honest, when they aint that.

Should i be bothering bout this? No i should not, but something keeps me up late at nights in my heart and just keeps the fire burning.
I am the worrying kind of human, i am the one that thinks alot, are often one step before others.
Just becouse i protect my self from getting hurt, if i am there before them and surprice them, then they cant be able to say, i never did that.

I have two choises, just like you all have; i can bother bout it all, or let it just go with the flow, sure the days become easyer to live if i just go with the flow, but i am not calm under the surface. Or i can try have full controll of things that happends around me, and be calm, but it takes so much energy to be that one that keeps the situation round you in controll.

So when i think of my choises, i get one solution, one choise i wanna take, and that is to die, becouse i dont need or want to have full controll whats going on around me becouse i fear of being hurt and fooled, i wanna relax, but still i feel that if i just let things go with the flow, i might be taken as something very easy to fool becouse im blind and dont see what goes around me.
So yes i choose the death.

I have studyed the human being, and ive seen, mostly girls, they say that they love there boyfriend or husband, but they need something that her hubby cant give them in their life, so they have another guy to have those games you have in the bedroom, and they never see that they do anything wrong, becouse they love their husband and they only want to fill up what her hubby cant give them.
Excuse me i think i have to go and puke, and shower my self now becouse i feel raped, dirty and very cheep...
I HATE that way of thinking, this is why i need to have controll of what goes around me, becouse i am terrified to end up as the guy whos loved so much, but she searches after something i cant give, in another person.  That would freak me out, totally destroy me. I belive you get your self a partner just becouse YOU KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW, that in the late late laaate LATE future, he or she can and will still fill up every need you have in your body and desire. That my friend is what getting your self a partner means that is what a relationship is: TRUSTING, HONESTY, UNDERSTANDING, FORGIVNESS, HAPPYNESS, SADNESS, COMUNICATION, BELIFE, SEX, BEING THERE, and L O V E!!!!!
There you have what a relationship is made of and what it is, its not a word, its a activity that is fresh and needs to be nursed and taken care of or it will die instantly.

So love is more then just love, its so much more then just just love...